All these voices, always quarreling, debating, advising, reciting passages, singing … Day and night in my head, seldom quiet. If you’ve never heard them yourself – well, maybe that’s normal. I don’t know, I’ve had them all my life. You kind of get used to them.
Strangely, for the past few weeks now, the voices in my head have switched to speaking English. Usually that happens after reading too many books in that language, but as far as I remember, the last one was German, as is the one I’m reading at the moment.
So for now, you have to endure me the way my head wants me to be. And it’s quite a nice topic, too, talking about the way you talk to yourself, isn’t it?
I guess, most of the time, people use their soliloquy to practise conversations they are going to have or to hum to themselves. So am I. But often enough, I tell myself stories, writing in my thoughts. Too bad a device that lets you tape your inner voice has to be invented yet. That would let me use the time spent in busses or trains way better, as I distaste the idea of talking to a dictaphone where everyone can overhear my texts.
For now, I try to remember good ideas (which in general is a bad idea, as my memory is really miserable) or use my mobile to note down keywords. At home – as the voices are the most persistent during times you’d rather sleep – I use good old paper. Or let’s say: I used. Since my cat has developed a habit of eating my pencils, the sheet of paper resting on my night stand has become pretty useless.
Sometimes, my inner voices are louder than those acutally talking to me. On these days, I’m very absent-minded, and I’d like to use this opportunity to say sorry to friends an family, who take that with an serene attitude. I guess they’re used to my peculiarity by now.
Or maybe they just think I’m nuts.
BlackBox TV puts up nice short stories on a regular basis. I’ve put them on the link list. Check them out!